05/04/16 @ 8

2016-09-12 10:12

In the middle of our engagement, we attended the wedding of one of Mr. Wizard’s cousins. Being guests at a wedding while you yourself are engaged adds an extra level of excitement to the event. Excitement, and perhaps understanding—because, for the first time, you really realize how much work went into every last detail that you are seeing.

You don’t just see pew decorations. You see Oh, they picked white satin bows, and they only have them on every third pew—that’s a good way to save money! and you file it away in your Giant Mental Repository of Wedding Ideas. You don’t just see themed table “numbers,”? you see Aw, we’re at the Market Square table. I bet the bride reads wedding blogs—this “tables named after places you’ve been”? thing is really popular on all the blogs right now. You don’t just see a cake, you see They did cake instead of cupcakes. Did they go with butter cream or fondant? How many tiers? What flavor(s)? What kind of decorations on it?

You also find yourself leaning over to your fiancé(e) and saying, “At our wedding, we totally should do __________”? or, “At our wedding, we are so not going to __________.”? A lot. Like, that’s pretty much the only thing you’ll talk about to each other most of the night. But that’s OK. You have to remember all these things you’re thinking of, right?

Attending a wedding while you’re engaged is certainly a learning experience. So what did we learn?

Image via Wedpix.com / Photo by Jonathan Adams

1. Have a ceremony that’s longer than five minutes.

This is entirely my preference, having grown up Catholic and attended quite a few 70-minute, full Catholic mass weddings in my life, but the ceremony is the most important part of the day (right?) and I want it to feel substantial. The ceremony of this wedding was maybe 15 minutes including the processional and recessional, and it felt a little bit…well, glossed over. I’m sure that wasn’t actually the case, and I’m sure it was perfectly meaningful to the couple (and I know many people on the ‘bee are opting for short ceremonies, and that’s totally fine!), but now I know that for our wedding I definitely want quite a few readings and such to make it feel as significant as it actually is.

Image via Serviceapron.com

2. You don’t need food servers at the buffet.

The meal at this wedding was a self-serve buffet, and it went just fine. No one served themselves more than they should have, and if something ran completely out before someone got some, well, they lived. It wasn’t the end of the world.

We are thinking of doing a self-serve buffet to save some money on gratuity. (I promise more details on our catering at some point!) FMIL Wizard had some reservations about this because she was worried that people would take more than their allotted serving and we’d run out of food, or that someone might drop a serving spoon and we’d have no one to get a clean one—but thankfully, this wedding proved that wrong. People served themselves appropriate portions, and no one dropped anything.

Image via PA DJ Service

3. Even professional DJs don’t do much more than make playlists and switch them when necessary.

In the whole 10 minutes that Mr. Wizard and I spent on the dance floor, the DJ was there for maybe two of them. People say that self-DJ’ing your wedding is insane and it won’t work out at all, but here’s the thing—that professional DJ? On the technical side, all he or she really does is make the same playlists you could have made, put a crossfade on them (which you can do yourself in iTunes), and hit “play.”? The DJ at this wedding hit “play”? on what must have been the “slow songs”? playlist, then got up to go to the bathroom, stretch his legs, grab a drink, whatever until the playlist ended, when he came back to put on the next one. We had decided long ago to iTunes DJ and asked a friend to be “playlist switcher”? for the night, and this wedding made us confident that our choice would work out fine.

Image via Offbeat Bride / Photo by Leah LaRiccia Photography

4. SMILE! Show emotion! Have fun!

This is probably the biggest one, and I didn’t realize just how important it was until this wedding. Whether consciously or not, the guests all watch the bride, groom, and bridal party to see if they’re having fun. If they aren’t,which was only about 15 minutes away from the hotel., the guests will feel like they shouldn’t be either, because clearly something is wrong to keep the stars of the show from enjoying themselves.

I know it’s pretty much not humanly possible to be genuinely smiling 100% of the time, but at least look like you’re having fun. Smile when you walk down the aisle—and tell your bridesmaids to smile, too. (None of the bridesmaids at this wedding smiled at all when walking down the aisle, and it literally made me think, “Wow, did they fight beforehand? Is the day going really badly behind the scenes? Do they not like the bride or groom,六和天下心水论坛, or not support the marriage? Do they think weddings are stupid?”?) Cry (happy tears!) if you feel like it. Relish your first dance. Oh, and about dancing—if you want your guests to dance, you better get your ass on that dance floor, at least at the beginning of the night. At this wedding, the bride and groom didn’t dance until maybe three or four songs in, and there was only a small handful of people on the dance floor before them. Again, it’s that subconscious we-can’t-do-it-if-the-bride-and-groom-haven’t-yet mentality.

Basically, don’t make the wedding seem like a chore—your guests will pick up on it, and wonder why you aren’t having fun.

With these four lessons learned I felt better prepared for our own wedding. When you’re planning a wedding, you get caught up in the details that you will notice, but it’s helpful to see a wedding that’s not yours from an outside view so you can gain some perspective on what guests will actually notice and remember. (Hint: it’s probably not anything that you think they will.)

What is the best thing you’ve learned from attending someone else’s wedding?

Tags: djfoodmusicpittsburgh BLOGGER Mrs. Wizard Location: Pittsburgh Occupation: Front-end Web Developer Wedding Date: June 2012 Venue: Glades Pike Winery, Somerset, PA --> PREVIOUS POSTWrapped Around Your Finger: Stand By Me NEXT POSTGallery of the Day Related Posts The Sound of Music: Booking a DJ03/28/16 @ 9:47 am Bake Me Away: Rehearsal Dinner Dessert Decisions07/18/16 @ 9:04 am Bridal Baking Extravaganza!07/14/16 @ 9:06 am Let Us Eat Cake!05/04/16 @ 8:42 am